Last week saw the third annual Diner en Blanc in Vancouver. Part public art project, part elitist picnic, this year’s event saw 3,200 people assemble at David Lam Park (the secret location wasn’t revealed until the last minute) to dine al fresco and upload thousands of photos of themselves to Instagram and Facebook.
On top of the $35 admission fee, participants were required to dress from head to toe in white, hump their own white foldable chairs, white foldable tables measuring between 28 and 32 inches and basket of food if they didn’t want to purchase a meal ticket. Tickets to the event were first awarded to friends of organizers and previous years’ participants, and finally to the lumpen masses unlucky enough to be relegated to the waiting list. The event has proven so popular that 35,000 people were left on this year’s waiting list.
Granted, the sight of so many people in one place dressed in white is visually impressive — kind of like a Klan rally meets a giant feminine hygiene commercial.
But the cost of providing your own tables, chairs and food, not to mention finding clean white clothes that don’t have sweat or fudgsicle stains on them surely must be prohibitive to most Vancouverites. Which is why K&K is in the early planning stages of organizing two satellite dinners to compete with next year’s Diner en Blanc.
• Diner en Beige would cater only to middle age dads who’ve given up on life. All that’s required is participants bring a brown paper bag lunch consisting of a cheese sandwich, a piece of bruised fruit and container of tapioca or butterscotch pudding on the cusp of its expiry date. Dress code is comfortable, loose fitting, not too flashy and joylessly purchased at Costco by the participant’s wife. The location will probably be at a cafeteria somewhere in Marpole, or maybe in a Superstore parking lot that can accommodate everyone’s used vehicle that nearly didn’t pass Air Care.
• For a more youthful experience, Mount Pleasant’s Diner en Plaid would either take place at Dude Chilling Park or the backroom of a new artisanal mead and taxidermy shop where a DJ will spin mashups of Broadway show tunes, speed metal and Christian hip hop. Event goers should bring their own mason jars in which all food and beverages will be served. The communal meal, eaten on hundred-foot-long picnic tables made of repurposed barn doors and skateboards, will be followed by a bicycle rally and rave with the route travelling directly through the middle of Diner en Blanc. Scowling will be encouraged.
