It's been an interesting few days on Canadian Twitter as users managed to get "McPizza" trending after fast food chain McDonald's announced that "THE THING U HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR ARRIVES 08.31.2021"
Many people, of course, hoped that they were bringing back their somewhat legendary pizza. Some wished it was the McDLT. Others expressed their hope that the McRib was coming back.
Seeing as I have exclusive sources in places where other journalists do not (a 13-year-old friend of our family got a job at McDonald's last month) I was sitting on a scoop that the thing people had apparently been asking for was Spicy Chicken McNuggets. However, I kept my word to my man on the inside and didn't let it out before they were officially released.
Today was the big day, so we went and bought the just-released McNuggets so that the expert panel we assembled could review them.
Heading up our panel is V.I.A. reporter Brendan Kergin, who has held occupations at esteemed establishments such as Romeo's Pizza and the snack stand at All Fun Waterslides in Victoria.
V.I.A. video reporter Thor Diakow, who self-identifies as "a frequent purveyor of fast food," is the second member.
Lastly, me, because I was the one who went to the drive-thru with my credit card, and I once reviewed McDonald's fish and chips.
While they look almost identical to normal Chicken McNuggets, they have a slightly different hue. Kergin describes them as "orange-er" than their traditional counterparts.
Diakow wonders aloud if they were simply cooked longer; Kergin then explains the science behind deep frying, and that they would be darker brown if that were the case. He surmises that some sort of colouring has been added to them.
We dig in.
All members of the panel agree that the McNuggets are not at all spicy, but do have a hint of pepper taste. It is agreed upon that they are "suburban spicy," or how you might expect your aunt in Aldergrove to spice up a meal. Kergin says you could feed them to a toddler, and everyone nods in agreement.
Upon opening the Spicy Habanero sauce packets that accompany our meals, a strong, tangy smell of tartar sauce fills the room, and a consensus is again reached; it tastes terrible and should be avoided at all costs.
However, the new Spicy Buffalo sauce is an instant hit among all three members of our panel. Kergin says it reminds him of Dairy Queen's FlameThrower Sauce, and we all give it a thumbs up. If there's anything great about this meal, it's this sauce.
Would we order these again?
I vote no, because I feel the spice (or lack thereof) is a gimmick. I will continue to eat regular Chicken McNuggets, thank you very much.
From the first bite, Diakow is unimpressed. "I call bulls**t!" he exclaims through a mouthful of breaded chicken. His complaint is that he wants them to be truly spicy and that they fail to deliver on that promise. He'll also stick with traditional nugs.
Kergin's disapproval is more subdued, as he says he would certainly get something with the Spicy Buffalo sauce on it in the future, but likely not these particular nuggets.
While the Spicy Chicken McNuggets are not actually spicy, we all grew from this shared experience, and it brought us closer together as a team of experts.