Hello, I am Baby Santa Claus. I’d like to thank everyone who has contributed the donor drive. The donations are an integral part of VIA, and seeing everyone help in any way possible, has been uplifting to my otherwise sad life. Nothing beats seeing people give during the holiday season, which is why I am now reaching out to you, I Baby Santa Claus need your help.

See, after not getting the Package Shark for the ninth Christmas in a row, the introduction of a bright green McNugget sauce, and worst of all, the success of the donor drive has been a glaring reminder of his failed Christmas Cake rescue program of ’08, leaving Mr. Choy in a very erratic state. His constant doomsday descriptions of a world without Christmas Cake are grossly embellished, but given the horrible taste of such a cake, in some ways, very possible.

The dipping sauce is for a limited time only, the only time he gets packages is at Christmas, so the Package Shark will soon be forgotten, but It is the possibility of Mr. Choy going a year without Christmas cake which may be the most scarring.

At times Mr. Choy’s intentions may be misguided, but at least this time, for my sake, if you have any Christmas cake to spare, it would be greatly appreciated. He will accept, both light and dark, with or without icing.