Stuck at home because you’re snowed in? That’s the case for plenty of Vancouverites, as well as our fellow British Columbians stuck in the cold white stuff across the water in the province’s capital city.
As part of a “relief” mission, the L.A.-based adult video website YouPorn has sent a letter to Victoria mayor Lisa Helps, offering residents free premium membership to their site as a way to “ride out the storm” and “help set the mood for indoor activities.”
Thanks to our amazing staff who are working so hard out there to clear the streets and keep people moving safely. Remember we all need to clear the sidewalks in front of our homes and businesses. Heading out to shovel now! pic.twitter.com/qN2AGmXcIq
— Lisa Helps – Victoria Mayor (@lisahelps) February 12, 2019
In his letter to Mayor Helps, YouPorn’s VP Charlie Hughes also notes that his offer is also in part a celebration of Victoria’s recent naming as one of Canada’s “most romantic cities.” That honour came from Amazon.ca, who used data about purchases of romance novels (both print and Kindle editions), romantic comedies, relationship books, jewellery and sexual wellness products to make their list.
The grown-ups only video portal also had a more serious offer for Victoria:
“We know there is a limited number of snowplows in the area and it has become a serious issue. We’d love to help you purchase another for the Island, that way you can have this mess cleaned up as quickly as possible.”
Obviously, there are many jokes to be made here about quick clean-ups, but we’ll let you use your own filthy minds to generate them.
You’ll also want to do yourselves the favour of not looking up “snowplow” or “Canadian snowplow” in the Urban Dictionary.
It’s unclear if Helps has received the offer or if the city is willing to take Hughes up on his offer. Helps has been busy having a fake Facebook page taken down as well as shovelling snow in B.C.’s capital, while making sure residents stay safe in the snow.
If any other Victoria residents – or other snowed-in British Columbians – have been enjoying Hughes’ company’s offerings, we don’t judge. It’s been a hard winter this week.
Here’s Hughes’ letter in full: