Have you ever wanted a personal video from a celebrity?
That’s the idea behind Cameo, the online service where people can hire celebrities to create a short video message. That means you can hire David Hasselhoff to wish your wife a happy anniversary, Ice T to wish a happy birthday to a family member who is a rap and/or Law & Order fan, or have Dolph Lundgren threaten to break you, if that’s what you desire.
If you’re a diehard Canucks fan, however, you might not want a video from The Hoff, or Wayne Knight, Melissa Joan Hart, or Fran Drescher. You might instead want a video from your favourite Canuck.
You might be in luck. Maybe.
I’ve gathered together all of the current Canucks, former Canucks, and vaguely Canucks-related personalities who are on Cameo so you can get the personalized video message from a Canuck or Canucks-adjacent person that you’ve always wanted.
Current Canucks on Cameo
Unfortunately, both are currently listed as “unavailable” on the site, so neither are taking Cameo requests at this time. That’s a shame, as they both have a 5.0 star rating, so fans have been fully satisfied with their videos in the past. In addition, Miller has a note on his page that all of the proceeds from his Cameo go to the Save Your Skin Foundation, which raises funds for awareness and research into skin cancer, a very worthy cause.
You might not be able to get a Cameo from a current Canucks player but you can get one from their head coach.
That’s right, Bruce Boudreau is on Cameo and is evidently willing to indulge even the oddest requests, if his video for the “Church of Pettersson” is any evidence.
Boudreau’s Cameo videos start from $85 and you can even request a 10-minute live video call for $254.
Former Canucks on Cameo
There are nearly two dozen former Canucks on Cameo, including both active and retired players.
That includes an all-time Canucks great in Kirk McLean, who has the URL “greatsave” for his Cameo page, which is very appropriate. You can book the last of the great stand-up goaltenders for $65.
There are a few other former Canucks goaltenders on Cameo: Eddie Lack, Andrew Raycroft, Louis Domingue, and Kevin Weekes, though Weekes is known more for his work as an analyst and hockey insider these days.
You can also get a few more recent former Canucks, such as Justin Bailey. If you’re from Richmond, Troy Stecher might be the best possible person to book on Cameo. The always cheerful Nate Schmidt is available. If you want to imagine what could have been, you could book Tyler Toffoli to tell you about the alternate reality where he re-signed with the Canucks.
Zack Kassian and Sam Gagner are available for the weirdos who are fans of both the Canucks and the Oilers. If you’re more into prospects who didn’t pan out, Frank Corrado and Jordan Subban can help you out.
One of the biggest former Canucks on Cameo is Todd Bertuzzi, the big and talented power forward that was a key part of the West Coast Express. You can really catch someone off-guard and knock them off their feet with a personalized message from Bertuzzi.
There are other former Canucks on Cameo for old-school fans, like Bret Hedican, Russ Courtnall — not as well-known as his big brother, Geoff, as a Canuck but still — Mike Weaver, Shane O’Brien, and Brad May.
You could also get Rick Vaive, who is definitely better known for his eight seasons with the Toronto Maple Leafs, scoring 50+ goals three times, but he was a Canucks draft pick, taken fifth overall in 1979, and played one season in Vancouver before he was traded to the Leafs with Bill Derlago for Jerry Butler and Tiger Williams.
Yes, the Canucks traded away a fifth-overall pick who went on to set a franchise record for goals for the Leafs and a total of 441 goals in 876 career games. Derlago was pretty excellent in Toronto too. Feels like that’s a trade that doesn’t come up often enough as one of the worst trades in Canucks history, perhaps because Tiger Williams was so beloved in Vancouver.
Speaking of Tiger, he’s not on Cameo, but he is on a very similar site: Memmo.
You could also get a Cameo from Mark Messier. I’m not sure what Canucks fan would want a personalized video message from Messier, which is probably why Messier does not even come up on the site if you search for “Canucks” on Cameo.
But if you really want to say something directly to Messier’s face — or at least to his face on a screen — you can book a live video call with Messier for the low, low price of $2,500.
Am I telling you to spend $2,500 to say something untoward to Messier? No. I have no say over what you do with your money.
Assorted other Canucks-related people on Cameo
Maybe you don’t want a current or former Canucks player or coach. Maybe you want someone connected to the Canucks but who never took the ice with them. You’re in luck!
Al Murdoch, the Canucks’ PA announcer, is on Cameo and there’s something to be said for having someone with his golden pipes who speaks for a living delivering a personalized video.
Jeff Paterson also talks about the Canucks for a living and if you’re a fan of the reporter/podcaster, you can book him on Cameo.
You can also book the Green Men — the super fans who tormented opposing players in the penalty box for several seasons. If you’ve ever wanted to know what Force and Sully sound like, you can get a personalized video message from them and they’re honestly pretty funny.
If you prefer your Canucks fans to have faces, Canucks YouTuber and parody song creator Canuck Clay is also on Cameo.
Turning to Memmo, you can get former Canucks general manager Brian Burke to record a video message, though he’s unfortunately listed as unavailable right now. Too bad. I was hoping to hire him to record a message challenging Harrison Mooney to a barn fight.